To: All Polish Speaking Staff
Subject: Improper Language Usage
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our office in Poland that offensive language is commonly used by our polish speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:
1.. Words like jebal to pies, kurewskie zycie, chuj and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.
2.. You will not say jebac when someone makes a mistake, or pocalujcie mnie w dupe if you see someone being reprehended, or gówno when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb srac and jebac are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
3.. No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred to as chujek, chuj, zajebaniec or debil.
4.. Lack of determination will not be referred to as srac nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as chuj.
5.. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred to as pierdoly.
6.. Do not say idz sie jebac if somebody is persistent; do not add pojeb, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say zjebalismy to (refer to item 2) nor Wyjebiemy sie na tym when a matter becomes excessively complicated.
7.. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say pocaluj mnie w dupe nor should you ever substitute "May I help you?" with "Czego kurwa chcesz!?".
8.. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners kurewski dostawca.
9.. Do not say idzcie do pizdy z tym chujem when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer metrowy chuj ci w dupe when your assistance is required.
10.. You should never call partner representatives as zajebana swinia or kurewski debil.
11.. The sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as pizda jebana, kurewskie bydle or chujowy pedal.
12.. Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say moga sobie tym podetrzec tylek! Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.
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