Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened! - Cora Harvey Armstrong

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. - Helen Hayes (at 73)

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. –Carrie Snow

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. -Rhonda Hansome

I try to take one drink a day - but sometimes several days attack me at once. - Jennifer Unlimited

If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -Catherine

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb . . . . and I'm also not blonde. - Dolly Parton

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. - Sue Grafton

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman! - Margaret Thatcher

I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A bit sexist but nonetheless quite true especially that M. Thatcher's one

Do you know what PRIEST stands for???

Pedophile Resident In Every Small Town

That was really great Aspecially the part about men invading other countries. it sound kind a familiar to this joke: If Germans aren't drinking bear or eating sausages right now they're probably having a war with other country.