This wasn’t written by me, but could have been.
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!
But... Now that I’ve reached the ripe old age of twenty-nine, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so fuckin’ easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a goddamned Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today don’t know how good you’ve got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet--we wanted to know something, we had to go to the goddamned library and look it up ourselves! And there was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter -- with a pen! --and then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the f*ckin’ mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
And there were no MP3s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had o go to the goddamned record store and shoplift it yourself! Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ’d usually talk over the beginning and fuck it all up!
We didn’t have fancy shit like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal! And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was, it could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, your drug dealer, you didn’t know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! A tall guy sat in front of you, you were screwed! And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning... ...D’ya hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards!
That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled, I swear to God! You guys wouldn’t last five minutes back in 1984!
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