* When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
* Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
* You get to eat insect food like snails and frog''s legs.
* If there''s a war you can surrender really early.
* You don''t have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.
* You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people''s countries.
* You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
* Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
* You don''t have to bother with toilets, just @!#$ in the street.
* People think you''re a great lover even when you''re not.
I know it was you.
A talking pig.
Pigs can’t talk.
Neither can penguins, but I can’t shut him up! Wait till you get a load of the dancing candelabra…
You want to buy a kitten?
You want to buy a kitten who?
Make pretty pet.
I’m allergic to cats.
Taste good, too?
You sure you don’t want buy a little kitten?
Yes, I’m sure.
Could make one cute fuzzy glove?
Ted Bundy who?
Let me in, meat!
I mean… Hello I am Santa Claus.
A Predator drone-launched Hellfire missile.
Saddam, I think it’s for you!
Gandalf the Gray Wizard, friend to hobbits and elves!
Don’t hit me! Don’t hit me!
My mouth is full of spiders.
My mouth is full of spiders who?
I didn’t kill the baby. It was made out of popcorn. Popcorn baby! I need a bucket - my knuckles are melting…
Man, you have got to lay off the cough syrup.
Hitler: German, dictator, mass murderer. Little mustache? One testicle? “HEIL ME!” Ring a bell?
I thought you were someone else.
How is that possible? There is only ONE HITLER!
Nope. Went to school with a Nelson Hitler.
You’re just trying to annoy me now.
Do you really have just one testicle?
You’d think I miss it, but I don’t
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
What, and that makes you special?
Some @!#$ telling you knock, knock jokes. .