Reasons for Being French

* When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
* Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.

* You get to eat insect food like snails and frog''s legs.

* If there''s a war you can surrender really early.

* You don''t have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.

* You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people''s countries.

* You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.

* Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.

* You don''t have to bother with toilets, just @!#$ in the street.

* People think you''re a great lover even when you''re not.


Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
I know it was you.
Crap.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
A talking pig.
Pigs can’t talk.
Neither can penguins, but I can’t shut him up! Wait till you get a load of the dancing candelabra…

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
You want to buy a kitten?
You want to buy a kitten who?
Make pretty pet.
I’m allergic to cats.
Taste good, too?

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
You sure you don’t want buy a little kitten?
Yes, I’m sure.
Could make one cute fuzzy glove?

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Ted Bundy
Ted Bundy who?
Let me in, meat!
No!
I mean… Hello I am Santa Claus.
Yay! Santa!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
A Predator drone-launched Hellfire missile.
Saddam, I think it’s for you!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Gandalf the Gray Wizard, friend to hobbits and elves!
Dork-ass loser.
Don’t hit me! Don’t hit me!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
My mouth is full of spiders.
My mouth is full of spiders who?
I didn’t kill the baby. It was made out of popcorn. Popcorn baby! I need a bucket - my knuckles are melting…
Man, you have got to lay off the cough syrup.

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Hitler
Hitler who?
Hitler: German, dictator, mass murderer. Little mustache? One testicle? “HEIL ME!” Ring a bell?
I thought you were someone else.
How is that possible? There is only ONE HITLER!
Nope. Went to school with a Nelson Hitler.
You’re just trying to annoy me now.
Do you really have just one testicle?
You’d think I miss it, but I don’t

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
What, and that makes you special?

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Some.
Some who?
Some @!#$ telling you knock, knock jokes. .

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