The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent
terrorist threats and have raised their security level
from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels
may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."
Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in
1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have
been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance"
warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that
it has raised its alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only
two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate."
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed
France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the
country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened
level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout
Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing."
Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations"
and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from
"Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching
Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor"
and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and
the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of
Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready
to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms
so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old
Spanish navy.