There's an island in the middle of the ocean. On the island is a blond, a brunette, and a red head. One day they find a magic lamp, they rub it and a genie comes out that says, "you now have 3 wishes, each of you get one." At that the brunette comes up and says, "I miss my home, my husband, and my children... i want to go home." At that the genie poofs her home. The next day the red head goes up to the genie and says, "I also miss my home, i want to go home." At that the genie poofs her home. Finally, the next day the blonde is crying. The genie asks her what's wrong and the blonde says, "I miss my friends. I wish they were here."
---
A pig farmer has been running his pig farm for a while and wonders why his pigs aren't reproducing. He asks a vet what he should do and the vet says "If your pigs are pregnant, they will lie down in the mud. If they won't reproduce by themselves, try artifical insemination." The farmer hasn't got the faintest idea what this means, but not wanting to seem stupid, he agrees. After a while of thinking, he comes to the conclusion he must impregnate the pigs himself. So he loads all his pigs into the back of his truck, drives into the middle of the woods and has sex with them all. He drives home and goes to bed, exhausted. He wakes up to find all his pigs still standing up, so he loads them into his truck again, takes them to the woods and has sex with each pig twice for good measure. Once again, he drives home and falls asleep instantly. In the morning, too tired to even get out of bed, he asks his wife "Are the pigs wallowing in the mud?" to which his wife replies, "No, they're in the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn."
---
That last one is an oldy......but still funny .
A man walks into a bar and puts a shoe box on the counter. He reaches in and pulls out a small piano. He reaches again and takes out a small man in a nice tuxedo and tails. The little man walks over to the piano and starts playing a tune. The bartender is stunned and asks where he got it. The man replies there is a Geenie in the parking lot granting wishes. The bartender runs outside and sure enough it is true. He walks up and asks for a million bucks. The Gennie says poof, it is done. The bartender walks back into the bar and there are 1,000,000 ducks running around. The bartender starts to cry.. I cant believe I get my wish and get a million ducks instead of a million bucks. The man at the bar replies......
Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist
---
A pig farmer has been running his pig farm for a while and wonders why his pigs aren't reproducing. He asks a vet what he should do and the vet says "If your pigs are pregnant, they will lie down in the mud. If they won't reproduce by themselves, try artifical insemination." The farmer hasn't got the faintest idea what this means, but not wanting to seem stupid, he agrees. After a while of thinking, he comes to the conclusion he must impregnate the pigs himself. So he loads all his pigs into the back of his truck, drives into the middle of the woods and has sex with them all. He drives home and goes to bed, exhausted. He wakes up to find all his pigs still standing up, so he loads them into his truck again, takes them to the woods and has sex with each pig twice for good measure. Once again, he drives home and falls asleep instantly. In the morning, too tired to even get out of bed, he asks his wife "Are the pigs wallowing in the mud?" to which his wife replies, "No, they're in the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn."
---
That last one is an oldy......but still funny .
A man walks into a bar and puts a shoe box on the counter. He reaches in and pulls out a small piano. He reaches again and takes out a small man in a nice tuxedo and tails. The little man walks over to the piano and starts playing a tune. The bartender is stunned and asks where he got it. The man replies there is a Geenie in the parking lot granting wishes. The bartender runs outside and sure enough it is true. He walks up and asks for a million bucks. The Gennie says poof, it is done. The bartender walks back into the bar and there are 1,000,000 ducks running around. The bartender starts to cry.. I cant believe I get my wish and get a million ducks instead of a million bucks. The man at the bar replies......
Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist
--
...::Nie wiem sam, gdzie miejsce dla mnie jest::...
