Is that flooding? Well, it's been two days, so...
Father O'Malley goes into a local bar in Dublin and approaches the first man he sees. "Do you want to go to Heaven?" he asks.
The man says, "Indeed I do, Father."
"Then for God's sake," commands the priest, "leave this pub right now."
He then goes to the next man, "Do you want to go to Heaven, my son?"
And the man answers, "Yes Father, indeed I want to do that very thing."
"Then ye must get out of this pub right now!" orders the priest.
Father O'Malley continues this throughout the pub until he gets to the last man. "Do you want to go to Heaven, man?" exhorts the priest.
The man looks at his half-full beer, turns to look at Father O'Malley, and says, "No, I don't, Father."
"You mean to tell me, young man, that when you die, you don't want to go to Heaven?" asks the priest incredulously.
"Oh, well, when I die, yes Father, I certainly do. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now!"
And one about silent voices...
A guy went home from work one night and heard a voice. The voice whispered to him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, and go to Vegas."
The man was disturbed about what he heard and ignored the voice. The next day when he got home from work, the same thing happened. The voice whispered to him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, and go to Vegas."
Again the man ignored the voice, though he was very troubled by the event. Every day, the man was tormented by the same voice when he came home from work: " Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, and go to Vegas."
Each time the man heard the voice he became increasingly upset. Finally, after two weeks, he succumbed to the pressure. He quit his job, sold his house, got together all his money, and headed to Vegas. The moment the man got off the plane in Vegas, the voice told him, "Go to Harrah's."
So he hopped into a cab and rushed over to Harrah's. As soon as he set foot in the casino, the voice echoed, "Go to the roulette table." The man did as he was told.
When he arrived at the roulette table, the voice firmly told him, "Put all your money on 17." Nervously, the man cashed in his money for chips and then put them all on 17. The dealer wished the man good luck and spun the roulette wheel.
Around and around the ball caromed. The man anxiously watched the ball as it slowly lost speed, until finally it settled into number... 21.
The voice said, "Damn..."
Beware of the voices
Arigato!
Father O'Malley goes into a local bar in Dublin and approaches the first man he sees. "Do you want to go to Heaven?" he asks.
The man says, "Indeed I do, Father."
"Then for God's sake," commands the priest, "leave this pub right now."
He then goes to the next man, "Do you want to go to Heaven, my son?"
And the man answers, "Yes Father, indeed I want to do that very thing."
"Then ye must get out of this pub right now!" orders the priest.
Father O'Malley continues this throughout the pub until he gets to the last man. "Do you want to go to Heaven, man?" exhorts the priest.
The man looks at his half-full beer, turns to look at Father O'Malley, and says, "No, I don't, Father."
"You mean to tell me, young man, that when you die, you don't want to go to Heaven?" asks the priest incredulously.
"Oh, well, when I die, yes Father, I certainly do. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now!"
And one about silent voices...
A guy went home from work one night and heard a voice. The voice whispered to him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, and go to Vegas."
The man was disturbed about what he heard and ignored the voice. The next day when he got home from work, the same thing happened. The voice whispered to him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, and go to Vegas."
Again the man ignored the voice, though he was very troubled by the event. Every day, the man was tormented by the same voice when he came home from work: " Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, and go to Vegas."
Each time the man heard the voice he became increasingly upset. Finally, after two weeks, he succumbed to the pressure. He quit his job, sold his house, got together all his money, and headed to Vegas. The moment the man got off the plane in Vegas, the voice told him, "Go to Harrah's."
So he hopped into a cab and rushed over to Harrah's. As soon as he set foot in the casino, the voice echoed, "Go to the roulette table." The man did as he was told.
When he arrived at the roulette table, the voice firmly told him, "Put all your money on 17." Nervously, the man cashed in his money for chips and then put them all on 17. The dealer wished the man good luck and spun the roulette wheel.
Around and around the ball caromed. The man anxiously watched the ball as it slowly lost speed, until finally it settled into number... 21.
The voice said, "Damn..."
Beware of the voices
Arigato!