DAD: There are Jews in the world. There are Buddhists. There are Hindus and Mormons, and then There are those that follow Mohammed, but I've never been one of them. I'm a Roman Catholic, And have been since before I was born, And the one thing they say about Catholics is: They'll take you as soon as you're warm. You don't have to be a six-footer. You don't have to have a great brain. You don't have to have any clothes on. You're A Catholic the moment Dad came, Because Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. CHILDREN: Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. GIRL: Let the heathen spill theirs On the dusty ground. God shall make them pay for Each sperm that can't be found. CHILDREN: Every sperm is wanted. Every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed In your neighbourhood. MUM: Hindu, Taoist, Mormon, Spill theirs just anywhere, But God loves those who treat their Semen with more care. MEN: Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. WOMEN: If a sperm is wasted,... CHILDREN: ...God get quite irate. PRIEST: Every sperm is sacred. BRIDE and GROOM: Every sperm is good. NANNIES: Every sperm is needed... CARDINALS: ...In your neighbourhood! CHILDREN: Every sperm is useful. Every sperm is fine. FUNERAL CORTEGE: God needs everybody's. MOURNER #1: Mine! MOURNER #2: And mine! CORPSE: And mine! NUN: Let the Pagan spill theirs O'er mountain, hill, and plain. HOLY STATUES: God shall strike them down for Each sperm that's spilt in vain. EVERYONE: Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed In your neighbourhood. Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite iraaaaaate!