* Washing machine found with hoses cut; "You’re next" written in Woolite
* It tries to lure you inside by hiding one of your socks
* Immediately stops whispered conversations with washer when you walk in the room* When you walk by, it hisses softly at you
* Caught passing notes to the water heater, trying to get it to explode
* Dryer sheets are laced with cyanide instead of fabric softener
* Large pile of (highly flammable) dryer lint next to water heater
* Only works when you open the door and put your hand in
* You wake up with a mouthful of lint every morning
* It keeps catching on fire
* Whispers subliminal suicide messages to you in the quiet of the night
* Some dryers eat socks, yours eats fingers
* Ad for contract killer in local paper
* You find its power cord tied across basement stairs as trip cord
* Creates new usenet group: alt.[your_name].die.die.die
* Gun hidden under the dryer sheets
* It chases you every time you use it
* Ate the Laundry Basket as a warning
* Caught in police sting operation, trying to hire a contract killer
* George W. Bush has drafted you and your dryer to die in Iraq
* You smell gas around it even when it isn’t running
* Heats up so much, the weather satellite says you town registers at 300 degrees
* Socks with holes...You figure it out?
* Hands you a glass of wine and says, "Bottoms up!"
* Hear it singing, "Jimmy Hoffa, Martin Luther King, and YOOOOUUU..."
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