Bart and his Blackboard Quotes

* I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
* I will not sell school property
* I will not cut corners
* I will not get very far with this attitude
* I will not make flatuent noises in class
* I will not belch the National Anthem
* I will not sell land in Florida
* I will not grease the monkey bars
* I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
* I will not do anything bad ever again
* I will not show off
* I will not sleep through my education
* I am not a dentist
* Spitwads are not free speech
* Nobody likes sunburn slappers
* High explosives and school don't mix
* I will not bribe Principal Skinner
* I will not squeak chalk
* I will finish what I sta
* "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
* Underwear should be worn on the inside
* The Christmas Pageant does not stink
* I will not torment the emotionally frail
* I will not carve gods
* I will not spank others
* I will not aim for the head
* I will not barf unless I'm sick
* I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
* I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
* I will not conduct my own fire drills
* Funny noises are not funny
* I will not snap bras
* I will not fake seizures
* This punishment is not boring and pointless
* My name is not Dr. Death
* I will not defame New Orleans
* I will not prescribe medication
* I will not bury the new kid
* I will not teach others to fly
* I will not bring sheep to class
* A burp is not an answer
* Teacher is not a leper
* Coffee is not for kids
* I will not eat things for money
* I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call
* The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee
* I will not call the principal "spud head"
* Goldfish don't bounce
* Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
* No one is interested in my underpants
* I will not sell miracle cures
* I will return the seeing-eye dog
* I do not have diplomatic immunity
* I will not charge admission to the bathroom
* I will never win an Emmy
* The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
* All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
* I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
* I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
* My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
* I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
* I am not deliciously saucy
* Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
* The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
* I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
* There are plenty of businesses like show business
* I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball
* Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
* Beans are neither fruit nor musical
* I will not use abbrev.
* I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
* I will not send lard through the mail
* I will not dissect things unless instructed
* I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
* Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
* Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal
* "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice
* Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
* Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
* I will not hang donuts on my person
* I will remember to take my medication
* I will not strut around like I own the place
* The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
* I do not have power of attorney over first graders
* In one episode Barts teacher made Marge write "I will try to raise a better child"