Mój ulubiony krótki tekst

Czas rozruszać trochę ten klub Jest nas niewielu, ale za to, mam nadzieje, znamy twórczość GC. Proponuje wrzucanie waszych i moich ulubionych (przynajmniej w chwili obecnej) krótkich tekstów - kilka zdań. Zaczynam
"Have You noticed that most of the women that are against abortion are women that You wouldn't want to Fuck in the first place? There's such balance in nature"

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

Trochę dłuższy kilka zwrotów typu "cofam do tyłu" zakamuflowanych w wypowiedzi "polityka"

COUNT THE SUPERFLUOUS REDUNDANT PLEONASTIC TAUTOLOGIES

My fellow countrymen, I speak to you as coequals, knowing you are deserving of the
honest
truth. And let me warn you in advance, my subject matter concerns a serious crisis caused
by an
event in my past history: the execution-style killing of a security guard on a delivery truck.
At
that particular point in time,
I found myself in a deep depression, making mental errors which seemed as though they
might
threaten my future plans. I am not over-exaggerating.
I needed a new beginning, so I decided to pay a social visit to a personal friend with
whom I
share the same mutual objectives and who is one of the most unique individuals I have
ever
personally met. The end result was an unexpected surprise. When I reiterated again to her
the
fact that I needed a fresh start, she said I was exactly right; and, as an added plus, she
came up
with a final solution that was absolutely perfect.
Based on her past experience, she felt we needed to join together in a common bond for a
combined total of twenty-four hours a day, in order to find some new initiatives. What a
novel
innovation! And, as an extra bonus, she presented me with the free gift of a tuna fish.
Right away
I noticed an immediate positive improvement. And although my recovery is not totally
complete,
the sum total is I feel much better now knowing I am not uniquely alone.

"The Planet is fine... People are fucked!!"

Dodatkowo cały dialog ze skeczu "It's bad for ya' " w którym Carlin radzi aby być szczerem wobec tego co widzimy na zdjęciach dzieci, które podsuwają nam pod nos ich rodzice. Zaczyna się od słów: "Take a chance, tell the truth... " xD

The Planet is fine....the people are fucked

Fuck the children!